The Toms is really just one Tom. That’s him—Tom Marolda, of New Jersey—on every instrument on this home-recorded album of perfect, breezy pop tunes from 1979. Today’s track, “Better than anyone else” sounds like a typical crush song: Tom’s met a pretty girl and wants to get with her. Specifically, he says to her in the song’s infectious chorus, “I want you to know me better than I know myself.” Aww…? Let’s take a closer listen. He wants her to know him better than he knows himself. Meanwhile, in the 2nd verse he recounts how he worked up the nerve to talk to her, asking her if she’s a dancer, and then reveals he can’t remember her answer! He was so excited about his own bravery in approaching her, and that she’s willing to talk to him, that he didn’t even listen to what she had to say. In the 3rd verse, he drops the bomb—he doesn’t even know her name! And yet he’s dreaming of her becoming the foremost expert on Tomology. This song raises the troubling question: how often is romantic love and attraction based on a fantasy we construct of another person who we don’t even know, or even care to? The most important thing is the ennobling reflection of ourselves we see in their eyes, and the shine they bring to us by allowing us to be seen beside them. That’s something I learned from this one guy, The Toms.
The Toms - Better than anyone else
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